Epic Fail. Again.

I have failed. Again.

I am truly and honestly a terrible tooth fairy.

Fortunately, my oldest child has a mouth full of permanent teeth and the middle one no longer believes so he cuts me a lot of slack as long as I eventually pay up. It’s the youngest who’s the problem. He believes, he’s currently shedding half the teeth in his mouth, and he does not appreciate his tooth fairy being so unreliable.

Yesterday was a very long and brutal work day for me. The kind of day where you come home comatose and just sort of ooze your way into bed as soon as possible. I didn’t get to do that, of course. I never do.

Hal showed me his tooth, which the cafeteria ladies had put in a Ziploc bag to take home with him. I suggested that perhaps he leave it on the dining room table to make it easier for the tooth fairy.

“No, I want it under my pillow.”

I suggested that he “hide” it in the candle sconce in the dining room to make it harder on the tooth fairy (as his older brother had done while coming to terms with the tooth fairy’s true identity).

“No! I want it under my pillow!”

Right. The pillow that’s covered with stuffed animals and blankets and sits on the top bunk. Tooth fairy should be able to extract the tooth and insert the money, no problem. *Sigh*

I got some double-sided tape and put it on the top edge of the bag. I then attached that to his bed at the top of the bunk stairs. He thought that was pretty cool. I was relieved. Now I’d just have to pull off the sneak. I wouldn’t have to conduct a search and rescue event beneath a sleeping child too. Oh, and remember. I’d have to remember to do it after he went to bed.

I forgot. Like, immediately. Twice. How do you forget twice, you ask? Simple. I attached it, walked out of the room, and didn’t think about it again. The boys brushed their teeth. I then returned to the room for hugs and kisses, noticed the tooth, and felt a great surge of a) guilt that I had already forgotten and b) relief that I had just been reminded. Then I walked out and didn’t think about it again.

Not at all. Not until this morning when my husband levied a censorious eye at me and said, “The Tooth Fairy had an epic failure last night.”

I bit my tongue to keep from telling him what I thought of this all riding on my little shoulders. Instead I asked how he handled it. Apparently, Hal had adopted a very sad face with droopy eyes and said, “The Tooth Fairy didn’t come…”

While my husband and I were discussing ways to overcome my mistake, Hal came in with an announcement: “I think I know why the Tooth Fairy didn’t come last night.”

“Why didn’t she come, honey?” I asked.

“Because Rose was in our room,” he explained. The dog has been sleeping in the boys’ room for the last couple of weeks.

Without missing a beat, my husband picked up the theory. “You know, I bet that’s why Rose was barking early this morning!”

“I bet you are right!” I said in awe. “I bet she was scared of the dog. Rose saw her and barked at her and scared her off!”

“Well that settles it,” Daddy concluded. “Rose will just have to sleep in her crate tonight so the Tooth Fairy can come.”

With that, Hal left the room, satisfied. My husband turned to me and said, “Boy, your butt got saved on that one!”

“Yeah,” I said, again not bothering to ask why it was only my butt on the line. And of course, Hal just tossed me a temporary lifeline. I still have to remember tonight.

8 thoughts on “Epic Fail. Again.

  1. I have done that. Also, now that my son is older, he goes to sleep about the same time I do. Of course he doesn’t really believe in the T.F. anymore either so I just went into his room flapping my arms around and threw a dollar bill at him. (Yes, it was supposed to be a joke!!)

    • Well, I wrote this yesterday and had it run this morning, so “tonight” was really last night. Spoiler alert for tomorrow’s post: I remembered, but it sure took a lot of effort! šŸ™‚

  2. Now that I have a child I struggle all the time with whether or not I will let her believe Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy (I loathe the elf on the shelf…) are real. I know, I know…but it feels like I am contributing to the cycle of Adult lies and denial in my family line. I hope you remember the tooth tonight!

    • No, I’m right there with you. I kind of gloss over the Santa thing by not attributing any gifts as coming from…well… anyone basically. The stockings are believed to be from Santa but we don’t make a big deal about it. We kind of follow their lead. If they act like it’s real, we go with them on it but as soon as they ask, we fess up. And they get baskets Easter Sunday but I don’t think I’ve ever attributed it to the Easter Bunny.

      The Tooth Fairy is the only one that I play up and I don’t really know why. Especially since it’s the hardest one and I hate it. And… yeah… the elf on the shelf looks like it could maybe be fun, but every day?! Sheesh! No way! lol

      • Thank you for sharing your experience (and struggles!) šŸ™‚ Apparently these days from what I hear, the tooth fairy gives less money for teeth with cavities/fillings. I guess that legand was started as an incentive to brush your teeth. šŸ˜‰

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