Instagram Drama

I don’t understand Middleschoolers.

I mean, really I don’t. It’s not that they speak a foreign language. No, it’s more like they migrated from a different planet and stealthily replaced our children in the middle of the night while we slept.

I periodically stalk Jane’s Instagram account. I can’t make sense of most of what is said. They talk in bastardized English and too-small-to-discern emogis (pictures – think of the basic yellow-faced smileys on steroids plus tons of tiny cliparts of knives, fingers in peace signs, middle fingers up, hearts, stars, etc). Even when I successfully parse something (“Bish whet?” means “Bitch, what?!”), I don’t have the context (some viral Vines video) to fully appreciate it.

And there’s so much room for misinterpretation. It was explained to me last night that a series of smileys that appeared to have water gushing from both eyes meant “that’s so funny, you are making me cry” – but – this didn’t mean the person who put them there enjoyed the humor of the post. No, it meant they were laughing at a person. I’m not sure who gets to make the emogi interpretation rules nor how they all know they see them the same.

Last night, she was furious and angrily thrusting her iPod in my face so I could see the cause of her ire. She pulled up a DM (direct message – private messaging protocol on Instagram).

“See, look,” she said, “he posted this picture and then look at all these things people are saying. It’s so mean! He’s mocking her – they all are!”

I tried to scroll up to see the picture but the picture was actually just the bottom edge of a picture.

“I can’t see the picture,” I said.

“It’s right there! And see what they are all saying?!”

“But I can’t see the picture. I can just see the bottom edge.”

“That’s because that’s all that’s here! But he posted a screenshot of her profile and then look what they all said!”

“But he didn’t post a picture of her profile page. It’s just the bottom edge. I don’t see what’s wrong with it.”

She exhaled dramatically and took the iPod back, left that DM, scrolled down an impossibly long list of DMs, selected another one and said, “Here. Here’s the picture. See?! He’s mocking her!”

I didn’t see. I was, quite simply, confused. Were we talking about this DM or the other one? Jane wasn’t in the mood to wait for me to catch up though. She had just seen a new offensive comment from the lad and was trying to grab the iPod back. I resisted.

“Give it back! I need to comment!”

“No, no you don’t. Give me a minute.”

“Are you taking my iPod away?!”

“No. I’m just trying to figure this out and I don’t think you need to comment while you are this hot. What are you wanting to say?”

“I need to respond to what he said! It was… uggh! It was mean!”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t remember.” (Seriously, this happened).

Eventually, I put together that there is a relatively new girl at school that many people don’t like. Actually, neither she nor her sister are particularly popular. Jane has grown increasingly frustrated with people making fun of them and being mean. From what I’ve been able to gather, the two girls are not innocent. They apparently manage to hurl their own insults, although Jane seems to feel it’s defensive retaliation.

Anyway, one of her friends had found the girl’s Instagram profile and his request to follow her had been accepted. He then took a screen shot of the profile page, which included some pictures, and sent it in a DM to a large number of people saying, “I found {blank}’s profile.” Several people then started making fun of the girl. Someone took a screen shot of the bottom edge of his picture plus the first few comments and started a new DM with a smaller group of people. Jane called him out for sharing the picture and an argument ensued on whether he had been mocking the girl or whether only the people commenting had.

Eventually, one girl requested that they all stop arguing and I convinced Jane that she needed to lay off. I later suggested to her that continuing to insist he was mocking when he insisted he wasn’t was futile. “It would have been better to simply say, ‘Ok. It looked to me like you were mocking her’ and then let it go.”

Jane had just recently decided to improve herself. She cleaned her room, did laundry, worked out stuff with her teachers to raise her grades, hung out with people who didn’t make her doubt herself, and decided to be nice to people. She’s done this before and I suggested to her that when she decides to become a better person, she then tends to become very intolerant of and impatient with those who don’t make the leap with her.

She didn’t see it that way. For one – to my surprise – she still considered the people she had been vehemently arguing with to be her friends. When I suggested she show compassion and patience and not be so hard on those friends, she said she thought she was showing a lot of compassion – by standing up for people who were being talked about behind their backs.

Maybe she’s right. It all seems exhausting to me, though.

6 thoughts on “Instagram Drama

  1. Oh wow! You know, got teased a lot in middle school and after reading this post, it just makes me think about how much worse it would have been if there was social media back then. That poor girl!

    • Isn’t it though?! I truly think social media is, on the average, a very bad thing for teenagers. Ironically, the Scatterbrain post came about while I was trying to write about how Instagram had allowed Jane to connect and bond with other girls via Direct Messages.

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