Spock, They Ain’t

Children are some of the most logical people on Earth.

Assuming, that is, that children are the only people on Earth.

Of course they aren’t, which makes living with them baffling at times.

I’ll use my two boys as examples.

It’s been raining. A lot. On Saturday, my mom and I returned from a rainy trip to the store and after a series of suggestions between adults, my umbrella was placed open in the hall shower to drip dry. It didn’t rain on Sunday so I didn’t think about my umbrella until Monday morning when I prepared to head to work in the rain. By then, I had forgotten about the shower.

I looked for my umbrella near the front door, where it is usually stored, and it wasn’t there. I asked my husband if he had seen it. He hadn’t. I texted my mom to ask where she had put it. She reminded me that my dad had placed it in the shower. After checking the bathroom and not finding it, my husband asked Daryl, now 15 years old, if he had seen the umbrella in the bathroom. He said no.

Later that morning, I was bemoaning the loss of my umbrella and wondering how it had disappeared from the bathroom.

“Oh, that was your umbrella?” Daryl asked.

“Yes.”

“It was in the shower so I moved it next to the toilet.”

“So when you were asked if you had seen my umbrella in the bathroom, you said no because you didn’t know if the umbrella you saw in the bathroom was mine or not.”

“Yeah.”

“Because umbrellas are such a common presence in the bathroom.”

“Well! I didn’t know!”

The umbrella, in case you are curious, is still missing.

But let’s move on to Hal, the newly-minted 10 year old. Double digit age has not enhanced his logical reasoning skills either.

Last night, we overheard the boys arguing over a charging cable. Daryl was telling Hal to not use Daryl’s charging cable without asking and Hal was claiming that since Daryl’s phone was at 40% and Hal’s Kindle Fire was dead, he ought to get to use the cable even though it wasn’t his.

“Hal! Come here!” my husband called from another room. “Do you need a charger?”

“No,” Hal responded.

Jane (now a legal adult, by the way) and I chuckled.

“You don’t need a cable to charge your Kindle Fire?”

“No.”

“Is your Kindle Fire dead?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a charging cable for it?”

“No.”

“So you need a cable to charge your Kindle Fire.”

“No! I don’t!”

Umm. Ok. The three of us just shook our heads and laughed as he walked back down the hall.

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