Jane was gone to a retreat this weekend so for approximately two days, we were the parents of two boys only. Here’s a sampling of things I overheard.
“My secret ingredient will be poop.” – This in response to the older brother telling the younger that he would teach him how to make eggs… including his secret ingredients.
“Stupid bay leaves!” – Muttered by the older as he rifled through the spice cabinet.
“Captain, don’t forget our dog is immune to lava!” – Something to do with all the floors in the house being lava and this statement allowing the dog to traverse the floors without either hopping from chair to chair or dying a horrible, slow, burning death.
“I’m not a traitor! No, wait. I am a traitor. I’ll tell you where he is.” – Overheard during an apparent interrogation behind closed doors.
(cheerfully) “I’m not a traitor! I’m the delivery man!” – Said by the youngest when “delivering” a “package” and being accused by the oldest (who answered the door) of actually be a traitor.
(in the wrestling ring, aka living room)
older, in a sinister voice: “I. Am. Black. Mamba.”
younger: “I am Death Snake!”
older: “No, you can’t be death snake because black mamba is already the deadliest snake in the world. You should be… The Brown Recluse. That’s a vicious spider that when it bites you, your skin falls off.”
younger: “But I want to be Death Snake!”
older: “No! We can’t have two snakes!”
(during make-believe school) “Hal! No swords in class!”
(also during make-believe school) “Ahh! No fair. Dogs don’t go to school!”
“Well, Bubba, your head looks like a ravioli!” – said by the youngest at church Sunday morning.
“You said that very rudefully. You shouldn’t talk like that.”
Oh, honey. Rudefully or not, I have so thoroughly enjoyed listening to the two of you talking this weekend. We should deprive you of your electronic devices more often.