Why do I?

“How cold is it going to be today?”

“Cold.”

“Colder than the last time I ran in a race?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure? It was pretty cold that day.”

“It’s 36 degrees right now.”

“How cold will it be when the race starts?”

“Maybe 40.” He checks the weather, “No, only 36 still. Oh, and it’ll feel like 28. It’s windy.”

“Why do I do this?”

“Do you want me to be honest? Because you are dumb. ‘Here, let me give you money to go run on a street when I could just run on the treadmill at home and watch TV.'”

“I’m supporting the fight against racism.”

“You could send them a check and stay home.”

“I’m showing my support publicly.”

“You could take out an ad in the newspaper.”

I glare at him.

“I’m doing something with my friend Rachel.”

“You could invite her over for a glass of wine.”

“Why do I talk to you?”

“Because you love me.”

It’s a good thing he has all the answers. *grin*

How To Know You Are A Boy’s Mom

Becoming a parent changes a person. Everyone changes differently based on who they are and who their children are. But, here’s one sure-fire way to know that you are indeed a boy’s mom.

You walk into his room in the morning to rouse him from bed. He’s curled up and laying on his side. You sit down next to his bum and lift his feet, rolling him onto his back. You look at those big feet you are holding in your hands and you remember the tender little baby he used to be.

You begin to rock his legs back and forth and massage his feet as if he’s still that little baby. You comment to him, “Oh, my. Look how big my first little boy has become. Just look at these feet! He’s getting so big!” You look lovingly at that angelic freckled face.

He looks back at your dreaming eyes that are soaking up the precious early morning moment… and farts. And you laugh. That’s how you know that you have fully transitioned to being a boy’s mom. You laugh when one deliberately farts at you.