Who Rules the Universe?

I came across this story in the Facebook flashback feature last night. Of course, I failed to screenshot it before going to bed so I’m not sure when it happened. I’m guessing Daryl was maybe 7 or 8 and Jane 10 or 11. Anyway, it’s one of those funny tales that get forgotten by an aging momma and it brought a smile to my face.

Let’s set the stage. A group of kids are sitting on the steps leading up to the chancel area at the front of the sanctuary. The pastor is sitting with them and hoping to guide them to something insightful about the day’s scripture reading. I think most experienced pastors are always a little nervous about what the children might say in these moments.

One of the other children announced, “Darth Vader rules the universe!”

A pastor, sitting in his sanctuary in front of his congregation, can’t let that statement go unchallenged, of course, so he said, “Ok, wait. Who rules the universe?” He even emphasized the word ‘who’ in a leading way that should have had kids yelling “Jesus!” since that’s usually a safe answer during the children’s sermon.

Instead, Jane yelled, “The rebels do!!”

The pastor lost control of the room at that point with the congregation laughing too loudly for him to continue. The great irony in this moment was that my younger, usually less on the point, and huge Star Wars fan son, Daryl, was the one to return the focus to the topic at hand by answering “God.”

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My Trip in Pictures… Sort Of…

Here’s some pictures and related observations from my recent trip:

This was not my burger.  Mine was a lot of food but still manageable.  The salt shaker and glass are there to provide reference.  The coworker who ate it had to eat it in layers, using his fork.  I think he was a little embarrassed at how many of us wanted to take a picture of it before he dug in.

 

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I stood next to this sign waiting for the elevator at the hotel long enough to begin questioning whether the man escaping down the stairs was properly proportioned or whether he was built rather like Barbie, with excessively long legs.

I then pondered whether that was acceptable since the goal was to show walking and thus there should be some emphasis on the legs.  Surely it’s a more acceptable reason than Barbie’s.

I think perhaps the hotel elevator was a bit slow.

 

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The problem with juxtaposing these two bumper stickers on a nearly black tinted window is that it really looks like one bumper sticker.  I couldn’t figure out for a minute why the driver’s German Shepherd looked so much like Master Yoda in sunglasses.

 

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Okay, ladies and gents, this is why grammar is important.  My response to this board at an airport restaurant was, “Hell no, I don’t want to try one of the burritos you sold last year!  Even if you do still have one that the purchaser hasn’t already digested.”

They wanted to convey two points.  One, that they sold a lot of Cancun Burritos last year, implying they must be pretty good.  And, two, that you should really try one.  Trying to combine those two thoughts into one sentence didn’t work too well.

Modest Humor

My husband and I recently had a weekend away from the kids. We’ve done this nearly every year for the last 4 years. We drop the kids off at grandma’s and then travel an hour further away to setup a booth at an arts festival. It’s a lot of work but we enjoy spending time together, just the two of us.

This year, however, things were different. The separation was not as complete now that Jane has a cell phone.

Early afternoon, I received a text that included a picture of Hal, asleep in the car with a string of candy hanging out of his mouth. Jane said, “Hal got tired while eating candy in the car.”

The following exchange ensued:

At this point, I shared the exchange with my husband, commenting on our daughter’s remarkable sense of modesty. He took the phone and typed a response:

I nearly choked laughing so hard at her response. We couldn’t have asked for a better reaction from her. It was remarkable that she had rightly discerned that that was how her father would talk to her, not her mother. It just hadn’t occurred to her that just because it was my phone didn’t mean it was me talking. He took the phone again.

I then texted her, hoping to gently chastise her for being so full of herself.

We may not have to worry too much about low self-esteem, but we may need to keep an eye out for an over-inflated sense of self worth. The latter can be just as destructive as the former.

Big Dreams

Jane: “When I grow up and become a famous movie maker, I’m going to make a movie called The Mysterious Benedict Society and it’s going to be the most awesome movie ever.”

Me: “You’ll have to get Mr. Trenton’s permission to make that movie.”

Jane: “Oh, no problem. I’ll get permission.”

Daryl: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a multi-billionaire and then I’m going to buy Disney.”

Jane: “Disney already bought Star Wars.”

Daryl: “No, they bought Lucas Films, which means they bought Star Wars and all the other movies too.”

Jane: “That’s right. Being a billionaire is so last year though. I’m going to be a multi-trillionaire and then I’m going to buy Disney from you.”

Daryl: “Well, then I’ll just get multi more multi billions and multi more trillions and then I’ll be richer than you.”

Jane: “So? I’ll still have Disney.”

Daryl: “Well, I’m going to make something. I’m going to come up with something that will allow me to have an unlimited bank account.”

Jane: “You can’t do that. You know why? Because our money is tied to the gold at Fort Knox so there can’t be any such thing as an unlimited bank account.”

Daryl: “I know. But I’m going to be the King of England.”

Jane: “You can’t be the King of England. You weren’t born in that blood line so you can’t be the King of England.”

Daryl: “I know, but if all the people that were born of the blood died then I could be.”

Jane: “How are you going to pull that off?”

Daryl: “I’m just good like that.”

Jane: “How are you going to get all this money anyway?”

Me: “How are you going to get all that money?”

Jane: “I’m not.”

Me: “No, that money you said you were going to have when you said you were going to be a multi trillionaire and buy Disney.”

Jane: “I’m not.”

Me: “So you were lying?”

Jane: “No, I was pretending. Where are you going to get all that money, Daryl?”

Daryl: “I’m just pretending too. And while I’m pretending to have all this money, I’m going to have a big mansion.”

Jane: “You realize if you buy a big mansion, you’ll have a mortgage note on it.”

Daryl: “I know.”

Jane: “And that means you’ll have to pay it.”

Me: “I think if he’s a billionaire, he can afford the mortgage. If he even has to take one out at all.”

Daryl: “I’m going to have 10 mansions. And a light blue limousine. That would be cool.”